Brian Benoit has left The Dillinger Escape Plan on an indefinite hiatus. Read his farewell below:
Fallen comrade. After more than two years and counting, the hiatus continues. My name is Brian, some know me as Benoit, others don’t know of me at all. To those who have been along the ride with us for a while (thank you), I don’t think I need any kind of introduction, but to those who are asking the question “who the hell is this guy,” I play(ed) guitar for Dillinger dating back to 1998. I suffered a nerve related injury in April of 2005 which has affected the use of my left hand, and has sidelined me from remaining in the starting lineup ever since. Apparently, with the news of Chris’ departure, the questions have been increasing regarding my situation that the rest of the guys felt I needed to give an update personally to provide the answers concerning my condition and whereabouts or lack thereof. So, shall we…
April 28, 2005…Memphis, Tennessee…the Hi Tone. This is the show that will go down in infamy as far as my future with the band, my ability as a guitarist, and the use of my left hand in day-to-day life for years to come…maybe forever. Everything was a-okay through the halfway point of the set…full throttle, balls to the wall, all systems go. A song or two later however, my neck was giving me a sensation like no other I had ever experienced with all the sore neck issues that come with the trade. I didn’t find out until we came home a couple of weeks later (missing all but two of the the shows on the rest of the tour) that I had ruptured a disc in my lower neck, and this was only the tip of the iceberg. We were only about a week into the US tour that included the show above, and as always a good number of the band/crew were sick with the typical ‘colds’ from traveling to different climates and working on little rest. Like clockwork, my cold progressed to bronchitis, which eventually led to pneumonia, and again I didn’t realize the severity until we finally came home from the tour. Well, let this be a lesson to everyone reading this (especially guys in the 30ish range). Since I took so long to finally get treated, my immune system went berserk trying to beat the pneumonia on its own without the help of antibiotics, and it actually started to attack the good stuff as well, in my case my nervous system. This is actually a rare condition, but when it occurs, it happens mostly with men in their late 20s/early 30s. It’s called neuritis, specifically brachial plexus neuritis with me, which is medical terms for in the shoulder blade. There is a network or cluster in the shoulder blade area which connects the nerves from the neck to the nerves which continue down through the shoulder, arm, and hand. So, basically I now suffer from mild nerve damage (non-permanent I’m told by multiple neurologists) which stems from mostly my shoulder blade and upper back on my left side down my arm and into my hand. With the addition of the ruptured disc in my neck, this is not helping the healing factor progress as fast as I’d like, and what was originally supposed to take about 18 months to heal, is now taking 24+. Consequently, I had another nerve related injury in my left elbow that I was dealing with for over a year which I eventually had surgery for a couple months prior to the mess above. Some of you might have witnessed my freak episodes of hand cramping preventing me from playing parts of songs, whole songs, even full sets (sorry) and as luck would have it , this all correlates with one another. I’m still trying to remain positive throughout this whole disheartening ordeal, hoping that one day my situation will improve, but unfortunately for now I still can’t do what I truly love…which is to play an instrument that has been a part of me for a better part of my life, and to perform with my friends…that is the Dillinger Escape Plan. If anyone knows George Lucas, or can resurrect Miles Dyson from Cyberdyne/Skynet to create an artificial hand for me, I would greatly appreciate it…
My time in Dillinger began in the fall of 1998, and ended abruptly in May of 2005. I was the blonde whirlwind, the stage slasher, but most of all a guitar player who was fortunate enough to play with four truly phenomenal musicians, and who is honored to be (once) one-fifth of the Dillinger Escape Plan. I’ve been a part of both Chapter’s 1 and 2 (Dimitri and Greg), but unfortunately Chapter 3 will consist of different pages…pages which now won’t include me. That is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever written. In the past 9 years, the Dillinger Escape Plan has been my life, my every waking moment, and even now with what is keeping me from it, I can’t seem to move on thinking I’m no longer a central part of it…this absolutely kills me everyday. This band has made me who I am, and that might seem like a steaming hot corn dog smothered in mustard, but with what we’ve all gone through to get this far (good and bad), the experiences teach you a lot about yourself and what you can endure and overcome as an individual as well as within a band of brothers. It’s been the most fun a person could ever dream of in a lifetime, and also the largest sacrifice in the same breath, but i would do it all over again if the circumstances permitted. I’ve made friends with some amazing people, played with some amazing bands, and traveled to places I never even thought I’d step foot on let alone perform in. Most of all, I’ve been part of a group of musicians who has defied the odds, pushed the envelop to its limits, has never given up on a conquest, and whose respect and friendship I will always have for each and every member past and present of this band for the rest of my life…my hat’s off to all of you. I will be forever indebted to Ben, whose phone call in late summer of 1998 changed my life…no words can begin to describe the thanks for the opportunity to be a part of this entity and family. My thanks and gratitude goes out to all who has helped us along our journey to get the band where it is today. Obviously, to the fans (old and new) who have expressed their devotion to our music and what we’re trying to accomplish, you’re the reason why it was all well worth it. To those who have raised questions about my current condition and whereabouts, I sincerely appreciate your concern and support. I would like to give a huge thanks to James Love for allowing the band to continue in my absence, making sure that there was no momentum change and that the touring aspect could continue on smoothly. Of course, I wish the band all the success in the world, despite the ‘Curse of John Dillinger.’ Maybe one day I’ll be able to reclaim my thrown, and occupy stage left once again (if the option is open), or to at least recover to the point of being able to perform in the future to some extent on a different avenue. Until then, please welcome Jeff Tuttle who will be taking over for me on a non- or permanent basis. As a buddy once said…switch off goodbye.
-Brian Benoit